Mayflower Brewery

A Minor Hiccup On The Road To Domination

Written on August 25, 2016   By   in Blogging

There’s been a small business related incident in one of our factories.beersplosion

 

Thankfully there have been zero fatalities, even though a small number of engineers have been hit with some minor injuries. For the first time over 3 years, we have had to cease production of Ale. Although most businesses would see this as a serious blow to sales (especially since our otherwise excellent summer) we are approaching this incident as an opportunity to grow as a company.

 

The small explosion has all but obliterated half of our main production line – at the moment it is unclear as to how this came to be (corporate sabotage has been bandied about as a theory), but we are determined to discover the cause soon enough.

 

For the mean time, rigorous interior interviews are being conducted of all our staff, domestic as well as corporate. We cannot afford to have a rat in our system, especially if the rat is a metaphorical rat – as in a real person who has infiltrated the company for nefarious purposes, rather than an actual rodent (which would still not be good, when you consider Health & Safety Standards).

 

Street-ratOnce we have discovered the rat (metaphorical or otherwise) we will be able to squeeze the rodent for every ounce of information that he has, before dropping it thoroughly desiccated into the waste.

 

As soon as we are aware of the source of our problems we can work on fixing the plant and preparing our security for any future attacks on our great corporation. For the time being, we’ll be lifting brand new electric motors and industrial extractor fans into the factory. Although we can’t be certain, cross pollination of gases might well have been the source of the explosion.

 

Either way, it can never be a bad idea to install some brand new gear to the production line. We will be doubling down on costs this month, but our work should pay dividends when we have the factory back up and running at twice the efficiency.

 

Thankfully, we still have a great deal of stock on hand to distribute to our sellers so we should be able to keep a relatively consistent flow of the product to the general public.

 

Our first real set back as a company shall become the stepping stone to a new successful future.

Beer Sales Skyrocket In Summer

Written on August 24, 2016   By   in Blogging

Summer time is a wonderful time for our brand.

beerMuch like soft drinks companies, we often see a big boost in our sales over British Summer Time. This Summer has been no different. Although the weather got off to a bit of a damp start this year. things have picked up and, thanks to our successful launch of Diet Ale, sales have been increasing week on week.

 

We’ve recently started pushing our cans and micro-cans to smaller retailers, such as corner shops and convenience stores. Although you would assume it would be relatively easy to sell new products to smaller stores, you would be wrong. Often these small stores have got historical buying routes into the industry, allowing them to purchase the products they know they can sell at a cheaper price than usual.

 

FOT1189626What we have had to do, is force our Ale and Diet Ale into these sellers hands at a reduced rate, this has allowed them to pass on the savings to these small shops and push us ahead (at least for a brief amount of time) of their usual low-price brands. Now, obviously we would not want the fine Mayflower name to be tarnished by being sold as a ‘cheapo’ lager to degenerates. The plan is to sell this beer to the convenience stores as a ‘high brand luxury item’ for them to then sell the product on at a reduced rate.

 

Once the smart consumers, spotting a quality brand at a low price, exhaust the stock in the convenience stores – the owners will be clamouring for more, which we sell to them…at a much higher rate of course.

 

It might sound a little callous but, at the end of the day, all we are really doing is providing more and more people with one of the most popular (and generic) beers on the marketplace. Our prices are reasonable and our quality is (relatively) high.

 

Our march is never ending – we will dominate all markets.

 

Mayflower will rise.

Beer and Ice Sculptures – Creating Glacial Art

Written on July 12, 2016   By   in Blogging

When most people consider ice sculptures, their minds wander far afield to comedy sketches and sitcoms where an appointment is missed and all that remains of the impressive artwork is a large puddle on the floor – comic mishaps then ensue. However, this would be doing an injustice to the artistry and professionalism required to run a successful ice sculpture company. When launching our first sister product to our flagship beer Ale®, Mayflower decided to throw a party at our headquarters in order to create some buzz and excitement. Sales of our original flavour product had been rising significantly month on month, and the resounding agreement was that a diet version would be the product that would have the most success in the marketplace.

Dino_

‘The ice sculptures they were creating for weddings and parties were simply astounding…’

After an intense 4-weeks of focus-grouping; with our graphic design team working around the clock to create something bland, non-offensive (and yet instantly recognisable and unforgettable) – a brand was settled upon and the date of the launch night was set. Our lead PR maestro, Jessica Sakawa-Phillips, had the unenviable task of organising the party. Here’s her take on what she wanted to achieve:

“Putting together a schedule for what would be the biggest event in the company’s history, was a daunting task. Dancing girls, celebrity guests and the obligatory mountain of sausage rolls would all be present; but I wanted to organise something spectacular that would blow away our guests. That’s when I came across Glacial Art. The fabulous ice sculptures they were creating for weddings and parties were simply astounding and I knew something like that would really elevate our launch night to something spectacular.”

sakawa

‘Our lead PR maestro, Jessica Sakawa-Phillips…’

There was only one requirement we made of them; we asked for the entire sculpture to be formed out of our new Diet Ale® and for the sculpture to resemble out signature cylindrical shaped 330ml can. They replied saying that this was in fact a very simple effect to achieve, and whether we would like to think of anything more outside the box. We decided to stick with the original plan, not wishing to rock the boat and remembering the overall aim of our company to become as globally ubiquitous and uniform as our inspirations Coca-Cola and McDonalds. The ice sculpture arrived on time, perfectly formed and was greeted with a chorus of subdued murmurs and polite comments in other words: it made just the right impact.

The rest, you’re probably aware, is history. Once the dust had settled, with the dancing girls returned to their pens and the remaining sausage rolls fed to the pigs; Diet Ale® had been established as the premier light-version of everyone’s favourite beer. Through the hard work and effort of people like Miss. Sakawa-Phillips and the wonderful team at Glacial Art we had pulled off the launch party of the century and set Mayflower Brewery on a path of certain global domination.

sausage

‘…with the dancing girls returned to their pens and the remaining sausage rolls fed to the pigs; Diet Ale® had been established as the premier light-version of everyone’s favourite beer.’

One Company, One Brewery, One Ale.

Written on July 7, 2016   By   in Blogging

Brewing for us is not a job, its not a hobby and its not just a simple commercial enterprise. For over 15 years, our development teams, factory workers and administration department have been hard at work. They have been crafting an award winning brand that will not only resonate with the consumer, but will stand the test of time for centuries to come. At Mayflower Brewery we are attempting to make history by creating the world’s favourite ale. Unlike many independent breweries, who design their beverages and brands to appeal to one particular demographic, at Mayflower we recognise the growing proliferation of real ales in the global marketplace and have decided to create one unifying product family that will appeal to as many, if not all, of the ale drinkers in the world as possible.

coke

‘Gone will be the days of multitudes of farcically branded beers and ales, and one drink, our product, will reign supreme.’

Simplicity and recognisability is key when it comes to product branding. All mega-sized corporations, such as McDonalds and Coca-Cola can be recognised by their colour scheme and fonts alone. Our capable team of graphic designers have been working tirelessly to create a visual fingerprint for the company. By giving our brewery the best chance possible at making a lasting impact on our loyal customer base, we’ll be putting us ahead of our competitors in terms of marketability. In decades time, just like when you can ask a vendor casually for a Coke®, you’ll be able to ask for an Ale and you will always receive our product. Gone will be the days of multitudes of farcically branded beers and ales, and one drink, our product, will reign supreme.

dumb beer

‘We will give our beers and ales quirky names like ‘Portland Quibbler’ and ‘Old Man Toby’, to attract the casual buyer.’

For now though, we are just one of many independent start up companies. For now we will play by the rules, attend conventions and beer festival and greet our competitors with a smile and a wave. We will give our beers and ales quirky names like ‘Portland Quibbler’ and ‘Old Man Toby’, to attract the casual buyer. Selections of these unique ales (which will all taste suspiciously similar) will be boxed and packaged for sale during the Christmas season and around Father’s Day to entice unimaginative purchasers. All the while, our brand will go in strength, the delicious yet uniform taste of our micro-brews ingraining themselves into the public consciousness until there will be only one – Ale®.

The Great Return

Written on   By   in Blogging

For most commentators on beer and beer culture we are going through a period invariably dubbed the ‘Craft beer revival’ or ‘the growth of craft beer’ wherein something called ‘craft beer culture’ is growing around the world. To us beer lovers though, those of us who are actually part of this ‘phenomenon’ we are simply enjoying drinking more beer and better beer than we ever have before!

CraftBeer

It is certainly true that we are in a fantastic time